Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Veni, Vidi, Semi Vici....

I came, I saw, I semi conquered...

If you've kept up with my blog then you should remember our brief foray into the Korean version of a spa. *see: Herb Island...Neither an Herb nor an Island Discuss!* If you remember the way that blog post ended then you know there is much nudity involved at the spa and you should also remember I came to the realization I'm somewhat prudish. I am proud to report I can no longer use my name and prude in the same sentence. Let the story begin...

Saturday we took an over delayed trip to Woongjin Playdoci, a.k.a. Tiger World. It's an indoor water park/ski slope. We went to the water park side, that's what the kids wanted to do and we went as a group the Chaplain organized for Daric's unit. I didn't take any pictures, I didn't purchase the cool plastic bag looking thing to protect my cellphone so I could take pictures in the water. I think the Chaplain's assistant took pictures though so when I find them I'll post them. Back on track...so part of the water park is a spa area with aqua therapy massaging pools and such. BUT even better than that is part of the locker rooms is a spa area with all the same stuff but as you may remember if it's a locker room spa that means NUDITY!! The water park has an incredibly efficient system in use, they scan your entrance ticket before you hit the locker rooms and assign watches to everyone in your group. The watches have numbers on them, those are your locker number. You hold your watch up to the lock on the locker it opens, hold it up when you're done it locks. Amazing! But wait, there's more! You DO NOT need money on the inside, that's what the watches are for. You scan them at all the food kiosks, the Dr. Fish pool (the fish pedicure thing), the souvenir shop inside to purchase floaties, swim caps, etc. You scan your watch and when you're exiting they scan all the watches then give you your total if you've used them. So freaking cool but easy to lose track of how much you're spending since each kid, well big kid, got a watch too. I'm still in awe.

Back to the story...so I take the little princess with our swimsuits and proceed to the women's locker room to find our locker. I'm expecting the nudity this time so it isn't as shocking. Thankfully everyone is clearing out of my row so I'm alone with baby girl. I get her changed and while I'm changing her into the swimsuit an older ajumma (older Korean woman, I'd say grandma age range) comes and sits down on a stool in front of her locker to I guess hang out before she got dressed or did whatever it was she was going to do. So now I have the task of getting myself into my swimsuit with a naked grandma eyeballing me. Yes, it was as comfortable as it sounds! My shirt was long so I thought I can take off my pants and underwear and slip my swimsuit on without her seeing the goods. I was incredibly graceful, seriously, it went smoother than I had expected. Everything slid off and on with ease. I was feeling pretty good about myself so I pulled my swimsuit up further to right under my bra then took off my shirt. I could put my swimsuit on all the way then take off my bra so no one would see anything I kept thinking with a triumphant smile. I didn't have to get stark naked and change in front of the prying eyes because I saw them all start to look in my direction. I'm the freak there, the oddball, the exotic stranger...ok maybe it was my imagination but I swear even ladies in the row across from mine were looking over as they changed into/out of their clothing. Well getting the bra off with the swimsuit on wasn't as easy as I thought so I had to bare my boobs but it's ok they're just boobs, we all have them. I only felt a little mortified as I saw ajumma eyeballing me. Now being all ready for the water park, I grabbed the princess and headed out to meet the rest of the family. The boys disappeared into the crowd of kids, Daric took Ezzio and disappeared then reappeared to take Katerina but stuck with me in the lazy river which was more like whitewater rapids! Those kids were going nuts! Our day at the water park was much like anyone elses day at the water park. We swam, we went to the water park spa area and sat in the massaging pools, Daric and the kids did the Dr. Fish pool, I didn't still creeps me out a little, we ate Korean snacks and food for lunch, we spent entirely too much money on floaties for Ezzio and Katerina but hey they're Korean and awesome so it was money well spent in my opinion. All in all it was a fantastic day and we really didn't spend that much.

When it was time to go I took princess and realized as I stepped into the downstairs of the locker room (the water park was downstairs so I had to walk down 2 flights of stairs in the locker room to get there) I'm going to have to walk upstairs NAKED with Kat if we are going to take a shower and dry our swimsuits in the drying machines. DAMN YOU KOREA!!!! I thought I had gotten over it all but I hadn't. I stood in the shower holding Katerina, fully swimsuited, while we were surrounded by young and old alike fully naked. The younger kids were playing and running around chasing each other, naked, the older ladies were hobbling around, naked, the ladies closer in age to me were in groups chatting along as they dried their hair, showered, walked around, naked!! Ugh...my ego from earlier had left me. Now I was just an embarrassed, stupid American kid. Kat's a baby, she was naked but I'm a grown woman, I can't just go around naked like that. DAMN YOU AMERICAN PRUDISHNESS!!!! I realized I was spending far too long struggling with what to do so I decided I'd just go to my locker and get dressed there knowing my clothes would get soaking wet since I was still soaking wet. I went upstairs with a handful of tiny towels thinking, in vain, I could use them to dry off  before I put on my clothes. To my pleasant surprise there was no one in my row, the row across or the rows to either side. I had to carpe diem! There was no time to waste so I got naked, stark fucking naked and toweled off as fast as I could but something happened while I was toweling off. I realized it was kind of refreshing to be naked like that. Kat was crawling around on the floor playing with towels I dropped and I stopped to watch her play for a minute. I bent over to start drying my legs, now taking my time and that's when it happened... My big, bare ass was up in the air on full display when an 80 year old ajumma walked right up next to me to get in her locker. THE HORROR!!! My ass was still wet but I threw on my undies quick as a flash, practically ripped the straps off my bra in my haste to get it on too so at least the goods were once again concealed. I swear ajumma chuckled as she slowly put on her undergarments and sauntered off to the mirrors. Now in a complete tizzy I threw on my pants and shirt, dried my hair as best I could, threw Kat's clothes on her, grabbed our wet stuff off the floor and out of the locker, and left. I felt stupid for my knee-jerk reaction but hey, I've got 31 years of being told public nudity is bad to contend with. I was doing pretty good for a minute there.

At least I wasn't the only one having issues with the locker room nudity. Daric told me on the way home the big boys were freaking out about being around all the naked men. Ezzio, of course, had no issues with the nudity. He's my little aborigine! I'd say 95% of the time he's naked, the other 5% he's clothed when he absolutely has to be, like when we aren't home. I can only hope my little nudist never develops shame or embarrassment over his body. I had thought I was doing pretty good with the bigger two, making them comfortable with their bodies but something must have happened for them to become so shy about being naked, even at home. Doesn't matter if there's a stranger in the house or it's just us, Ezz will let it all hang out and even shake it a little for your entertainment. I know, sounds terribly wrong but he's his own spirit, if he wants to shake his naked butt in the air so be it! I am in awe of Ezzio's confidence and amazed my sweet little man has learned a lesson well before his time. I just need to make sure he keeps that confidence so he doesn't develop into a "prude" like the rest of us. With confidence like that, one day that kid will move mountains! And now I'm rambling so on that note I will say...

Good afternoon, morning or goodnight where ever you are in the world from our au natural family to yours!
isn't she lovely?

that's how she...rolls!!
modeling the scarf I'm crocheting
look at that face!
who wouldn't fall in love with this face?

oh look I do exist
our quick layover tour with Be

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